Fat Tablets Corruptis |
Datum Drivus
Consumptus |
Gamis Infestius |
Blackit Outus
Interruptis |
Monstross Obliteras
Catastrophic |
Config Monkesis |
Voltis Spikus
Surgious |
Double Ringed
Loopus Continuous |
|
|
 |
VW Millennium Bug |
*Millennium a new non corrosive, non magnetic
metal used exclusively in computers, software discs, CD's, DVD's and other
information technologies. This extremely valuable mineral is very
difficult to mine and refine (so difficult, no one has ever found any).
Get in on the bottom floor of the new age by buying into a new Millennium
mine. It's an investment of a lifetime. |
However, we list the following to remind you how to remedy those minor
date functions that may still come up:
1. Windows programs are mostly Y2K compatible,
with this change:
- date formats should be altered to show all
four digits in the date.
- In other words, configure your dates to show
MM / DD / YYYY
versus MM / DD / YY
(where MM is month, DD is day and YY, YYYY is year).
* For those of us who use the standard international
date
formats
change the above to DD / MM / YYYY.
2. Other changes you need to understand is for use
of date functions in programs like Lotus123 and Excel.
In Lotus, a date is coded in a spreadsheet cell
with @DATE(YY,MM,DD)
For dates 2000 and above, this format should be changed to @DATE(YYYY,MM,DD).
Alternately, In Lotus123 v4.0 @DATE(99,MM,DD)
represents 1999,
for the year 2000 use @DATE(100,MM,DD),
for the year 2001 use @DATE(101,MM,DD),
etc.,
meaning simply that the date for any year +2000 is @DATE(1YY,MM,DD)
or the two digit year with a "1" in front.
Similiar types of date function changes should work with
most Windows programs.
This is simply a matter of instruction, not hardware
or software.
3. Some MicroSoft files do need replacement.
For WFW3.11 or Win3.1
no update needed (Winfile.exe works OK).
The original Windows 95 File Manager
(Winfile.exe), displays a date beyond 2000 as (dd/mm/:0).
Best and easiest solution is to copy any Win98 version of WINFILE.EXE (dtd
11/05/98 or newer) into your Win95 C:\WINDOWS directory. Everything
works fine.
(Official MS Win95 update primarily forces Internet
Explorer into your system. It includes significantly more file changes
than the WFW site, most of which have nothing to do with year 2000 problems.)
Windows 98
Winfile.exe
displays dates correctly as dd/mm/00.
For more information about how Microsoft products are
affected by year 2000 (Y2K) issues, please see the following Microsoft
World Wide Web site: www.microsoft.com/ |
Just for your information,
|
 We
are spreading the rumor that the real Millennium
Bug problem is a secret miniature computer singularity built
into every PC manufactured. This singularity is a highly condensed
point of such concentrated gravitational attraction that everything close
gets sucked into it (a mini Black Hole). This
singularity will become active at the last stroke of PC time clocks on
31 December of some undisclosed year 2xxx in the near future. So
don't worry about
date
problems with Y2K. Just expect that
at the stoke of some year end during the new millennium, every PC in existence
is going to disappear instantaneously into its own personal computer
Black Hole. All your systems will
vanish. ...We're also
going to charge 5¢ for every email, and long distance tolls on
internet connections cross country. Also, could you be interested
in personal purchase of a toll bridge in New York?
By the way, if your system is turned off over New Year's weekend, stand
well back from your machine when you turn it on for the first time in January,
so that
you
don't get sucked in too. |
|
